Our People
Claire Laine: AKA' ‘Morsel’
Claire and Claire first became friends because they were forced to take a 3 hour Character Dance class on Friday nights in middle school. While everyone else was out doing cool ‘teen things’ they were acting out while wearing heeled boots, flamenco skirts and wielding fans (quite well, I might add)! Because of their shared ‘dance traumas’ they love each other immeasurably much and find everything the other does funny. Recently, while Claire was visiting Claire in Boston, they went into a restaurant and were “sat” by the hostess at a pillar- just a pillar in the room with no chairs and a small shelf attached serving as a “table”. There were actual tables with chairs and everything available but something about the Claires’ energy told the host “these two need an architectural feature to loiter near.” The two are such passive Minnesotans at heart that they gladly accepted this strange dig and spend the next couple of hours standing at their assigned ‘pillar’ and dying of laughter and their ridiculous lives. (If you didn’t find this anecdote hilarious please note that the host had a thick Irish accent so ‘pillar’ in this story is actually pronounced ‘peel-arrgh’. If you still don’t think it’s funny, we get it, only Claires understand Claire-humor)
Maddy Parks: AKA ‘Shalliboo’
Well she’s Claire’s seester! And it’s hard to write about her without using gibberish or noises but you need to know that she is WILDLY fun and inexplicably creative in everything she does. Growing up, Claire would exercise her rights as the older sister and make Maddy do an assortment of odd tasks such as: accompanying her to the basement to fend off the monsters that lived there, drag her around the house on a blanket while she lay limply on it like a dead body (because I guess that felt good), play all the bad characters in her dance-plays (Evil Queen in “The Snooty, Snotty Princess” was the role she was most known for), and most importantly participate in unfair trades of good such as 5 of her beanie babies for a carrot with alleged magic powers. Nowadays, Claire and Michael love visiting her and Brock at their beautiful house in Saint Paul and having ‘Kids Days’ where they all scooter around town stirring up trouble. She’s game for anything and I love her. She still makes Claire laugh so hard she gets side cramps.
Emily Verdi: AKA ‘The New Sister!’
Claire is almost as excited to be Michael’s wife as she is to be Emily’s sister in law!! Emily is the most generous person- she will literally give you whatever fabulous coat she is wearing off her back. She is crazy intuitive, bordering on witch (good witch of course)! On one fateful drive back from Philly to New York Emily and Claire went to the highway rest stop bathroom and Emily somehow emerged with the largest rice crispy treat in the world (from a nearby store, not a random bathroom stall). This was one of the many moments that made Claire realize that they were destined to be sisters.
Sarah Hillmon: AKA ‘Burratahh’
Sarah is famously the best comedy fan in New York! She attended almost all of Michael’s many comedy shows and still laughs at jokes that she’s heard one thousand times. Sarah, Julia (see below) and Claire all went to college at Tisch NYU together but became way closer after school. Now it’s hard to imagine a universe in which the three are not part of the same wacky friendship. For a couple years in a row Michael would throw Claire game-centered birthdays. During the capture-the-flag year, Sarah became MVP by sliding through the dirt for the flag, she still has the scars to prove it! And although our team lost, we will never forget the image of Sarah’s heroic and painful sliiiiiiide. She is a fiercely loyal friend and we are lucky that she puts up with us.
Julia Jurgilewicz: AKA ‘Survivor Woman’
Julia is THE person you want to have with you in a survival situation! She always runs towards adventure. Recently, they almost froze together on a mountainside in the Catskills and somehow they still had a good time. Julia and Claire worked together at ‘Then She Fell’ and in ‘Liz Gerring Dance Company’ and although they were some of the hardest times, they were absolutely the glory years. Once while on tour together they arrived in Paris at 3am with nowhere to drop their things or wait for their train. They wondered the streets in a jet-lagged haze giving off strong ‘homeless vibes’ when finally they stumbled upon the Eiffel Tower. They sleepily glanced at it and then fell asleep on a bench until their train departed. They have been through a lot together and somehow still find new ways to amuse each other, mostly by being weird freaks together whenever possible. Also- Julia can tell you what anything smells like in great detail, it is her strange super power (be sure to ask her about a smell at the wedding).
Kevin Todd: AKA ‘Twister Todd’
Michael and Kevin have been friends since they met in fourth grade at Elwood Kindle Elementary School in Pitman, New Jersey. Kevin is the reason Michael did not become the mustang-driving typical South Jersey meathead he was at risk to become. Michael followed Kevin’s lead in completing an AmeriCorps year with City Year and also moving to New York City. In fact, the beautiful apartment Claire and Michael share in Brooklyn was originally inhabited by Kevin. Michael and Kevin both developed a lot of their charisma and charm from their time spent “reporting” the “news” for Pitman High School .Kevin played the role of the always-inaccurate weather man “Twister Todd,” and he even coined Michael’s unfortunate nickname “Metro Mike.” Kevin now serves the important role of being the person Claire can vent to about all the frustrations that come along with sharing a NYC apartment with Michael. He also has a wonderful wife, Sarah, who has had to host Michael as a couch guest in Philadelphia on many (and sometimes unexpected) occasions.
Paul Verdi: AKA ‘Meatball’
Paul and Michael have been brothers since Paul was born in 1990 (prior to that were Michael and Ryan’s golden years of 1987-1989). Paul had the pleasure of being a younger sibling to Michael, which came with the privilege of riding in Michael’s reputational wake, for better or worse. Paul sat in classes as a high school freshman and had to figure out why the teachers’ expressions suddenly changed when they got to the name “Verdi” on their role call list. Michael and Paul both started doing stand-up comedy at the same time, and like many things, if it weren’t for Paul jumping in first, Michael probably wouldn’t have paid it much attention. They continue to keep each other motivated through their innate sense of competition (with high brow stuff like their stock portfolio performance, as well as low brow stuff like how many crabs they can pull out of a bay). Paul and Michael became much closer when Paul moved to NYC with his not-yet-wife, Emily. Michael helped acclimate him to the big city, and even let Paul crash on his couch for a couple weeks while he looked for a job. This just happened to be during the time Michael met Claire, so Paul got to witness Michael fall head over heels for a woman who made him chase her for the entire summer of 2013. Paul now enjoys Michael and Claire’s visits to his home in Philadelphia, where Claire and Paul get to rag on Michael for all of his shortcomings as a roommate.
Ryan Verdi: AKA ‘The Great Bambino’
Ryan is Michael’s older brother, which means Ryan had to watch out for Michael and lead by example. So if you have any issues with the way Michael turned out, feel free to blame them on Ryan. Michael was always in awe of Ryan as a kid because he was a good at sports and Michael, well… wasn’t. Michael cannot watch the movie “The Sandlot” without thinking of Ryan (hence the nickname). Since young Michael had a tendency to get into physical altercations with his fellow middle-schoolers, Ryan often found himself “watching out” for Michael, having to literally peel people off of him in the middle of a baseball field or chase angry neighborhood kids away from our yard with tennis rackets and wiffleball bats (you’ll have to ask Ryan for the specifics). Ryan was a witness to the evolving weirdness of Michael’s character, and their mutual love for Adam Sandler and passion for quoting scenes from comedy sketches was definitely a factor in Michael’s choice to pursue stand-up comedy as an adult. Michael now enjoys spending time with Ryan’s children, Aiden and Ariana, who allow Michael to relive his fun childhood times because they are basically clones of Ryan.
Brock Parks: AKA ‘Brock Lobstah’
Brock and Michael are soon to be brother-in-laws, and they could not be more excited about it. Brock and Michael became instant friends soon after Brock started dating Claire’s sister, Maddie, to whom he is now wed. Brock and Michael share a nostalgic passion for Bilnk-182, as well as South Park, and watching horror movies together. They are both musicians, except Michael is envious of Brock because he is in a real live band (an experience Michael plans to put Claire through in his forties – look out for “DAD BAND!”). Brock is a true Minnesotan, and Michael can’t wait for him to meet his Italian family because Brock has only seen people like them in movies such as “My Cousin Vinnie” and “Goodfellas.” Brock is just as excited.
Sean Murphy: AKA ‘Midnight Chicken’
Sean was first Michael’s roommate in Brooklyn, and after Claire moved in with Michael, he became Claire’s roommate too. Sean and Michael share a passion for social justice, a love for Bernie Sanders, and a desire to help others through public service (Sean through the Peace corps and Michael through AmeriCorps). Sean also set a good example for Michael on how to exit the non-profit industry and work your way up the corporate ladder in Manhattan. He also provided entertainment for Michael on occasion, in the form of midnight chicken mysteries, aka Michael would go to bed and wake up to a bucket of chicken left on the table from a late night visitor (drunk Sean). Sean could not resist the temptation of Kennedy fried chicken on his way home after a few drinks. Though he lives on the west coat now, Sean and Michael remain in touch and Michael is always sure to have that nostalgia-inducing gross chicken waiting for Sean whenever he gets the chance to visit NYC.
Other Characters:
Joan Westby- Mother of the Bride
Karen O’Toole- Mother of the Groom
Steve Westby- Father of the Bride
Paul Verdi- Father of the Groom
Grace Martin- Flower Child
Michael ‘Gonzo’ Gonzalez Cameron- Pup Patrol
Bernie ‘Olivia Benson’ Verdi- Ring Bearer
Dick Westby- Officiant
Sandra Westby- Accompanist